1# Count Crispsnack has never been interested in anything except sport, sadly, he was born with dirty goth-type looks.

2# Coltrane is an intellectual private detective.

3# Peter Organic-Bananos is a Boswegian Porno-Opera singer who enjoys the pleasures of spearmint with his bath mate.

4# Halden Brau is the sister of Malcolm Brau and who by some miscalculation of nature is only able to speak in Gabba. Halden dissaproves of her brother's relationship with Peter.

5# Malcolm Brau. Lover of Peter Organic-Bananos. Brother of Halden. Speaks in whistles and pops. Sexual deviant, often performing bizarre acts of self-satifaction and mutation involving beans.

6# The Bush. After growing peacefully for thousands of years, the bush's foul temper is enraged by having a sportsman hurled into his anus.

7# Mr. Neal resembles an evil green goat despite his horrifying appearance.

8# Ms. Bradley is developer carpet potential and eye-ball enthusiast.

9# Mr. Garbett loves to ride inside his best friend Bluey.

So now it all makes sense dosn't it.